My schedule in the office has a couple of annual physicals a day, in the course of which I get to see some mighty schlongs and some teeny wieners in the part of the exam where we check the family jewels.

As I rummaged around the other day in the course of doing a physical on this guy, with my mind not entirely on the job, I found myself ruminating on the issue of how much a mans self esteem is tied up with the size of his penis - and how misguided this is.

When the spam filter goes down on our electronic medical records at work, I am inundated with spams for creams, pills, and machines to make my penis bigger. To make my ego bigger? No potions to make my balls bigger - just my penis.

Is there some rational for this? Will a man with a big penis give his woman more satisfaction? And is satisfying the little woman what we need to do to maintain our self esteem? - the Viagra/Cialis/Levitra ads of the satiated looking, doting woman casting admiring looks at the puffed up, self satisfied looking man would suggest this is the case.

There’s the subset of men - probably with small penises - who maintain, “it’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you do with it”.

Boobs not Penises

Nowhere is the issue of size of the genitals a bigger issue (if you’ll pardon the pun) than in women’s breasts. It’s no secret that men are very aroused by a big set of jugs - even if they’re not real.

The sensual, lanky babe in the office the other day, who all too willingly slipped out of her blouse to let me examine her shoulder, must have had a BMI of 20 at the most. And when you don’t have an ounce of fat on the rest of your body, it just seems a little unlikely that her large breasts were all her own glandular tissue and natural fat.

Despite being a medic - who is meant to be all objectivity and control - I am a red blooded male. It may not be a very acceptable idea that a doctor gets turned on by his patients (I guess the real issue is having the self control not to act on your lusts). My comment is on the foolishness of knowing that all I was lusting after was silicone - and this whole business of being so obsessed with size, and nothing to do with functionality.

The thought I had, as I fondled this guys genitalia in the office and ruminated, was that what really is significant is the size of your testicles. They are the endocrine organs. They are the source of testosterone - the hormone that controls your manliness, the size of your muscles, your beard growth, your erections, your libido.

I’ll go check my spam and see if there is maybe a cream to make my balls bigger.

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