My back goes out from time to time. It did it again yesterday - just a bit worse. Mrs. Gagg insists I go to the Casualty department (or “Emergency” Room as the drama loving Americans call it.) just because I was gasping and groaning with the back spasm.

“There’s nothing they’re going to do for me” I protest - never having found it easy to be on the receiving end.

We did manage to talk the nice ER doctor into getting an emergent MRI scan (which did show a “slipped” disc). And they did give me Valium (diazepam) and Dilauded (hydromorphone) - so that I felt I was back smoking opium amongst the hill tribes of the Golden Triangle.

Mrs Gagg got reinforcement from the nurse. A conspiracy. A lot of complaining about how men “won’t take care of themselves”.

It’s true, men are more likely to have high blood pressure and heart disease at a young age, more likely to have sleep problems, stress problems, substance abuse problems, riskier sexual practices, more chronic disease, more occupational injuries/diseases and poorer diet. And it’s likely that the various studies showing men are less likely to go to the doctor has something to do with it.

So the nurse and Mrs. Gagg bantered on, with me in the opposing corner. The upshot being that we need to extrapolate the idea of Child Protective Services and Adult Protective Services to all those idiots men who won’t take care of themselves.

We need Man Protective Services. 

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